As a coach of human beings, teams, and organizations I have encountered many ways of approaching the gifts and challenges we face as we move through this life. One of the most organic and easeful approaches I have found is the one that starts with Self. You'll notice I capitalized the 's' of self. That is to emphasize the significance and power of starting exactly where you are. After all, it's really hard to start somewhere you are not. I'd like to bring you through an exploration of each of the elements of Self-leadership that we all have within us.
Sometimes they can feel hard to access or express and yet they are there, waiting for us to try them on.
I'd like to start with curiosity. Curiosity makes all the others easier to find. It's like the magnifying glass on a scavenger hunt. An important tool, right? Inherent in curiosity is desire. The inclination to discover. Applying curiosity can help us get underneath, around, or inside something of interest. It helps us thwart judgment. It can move us past unsavory feelings that stop us from exploring deeper meaning often containing important clues or gifts.
Curiosity can put it in a more neutral space. This can be important when applying curiosity towards ourselves. It's the entry door to everything. I like to think of it as "all are welcome" - and then "how are you? tell me about yourself..." Imagine being greeted everywhere you go with an open door and deep interest in who you BE. Pretty delicious, right? And I admit it can feel a tad bit overwhelming. So, a little curiosity applied with an authentic desire to know yourSelf a bit more goes a long way. Try it.
To make it easier here are some inquiries you can offer yourSelf as writing prompts or conversations to have with yourSelf in the shower, sitting in traffic, or during a daily meditation. There are endless inquiries you can bring to your Self and others. These are just a few. Pick one, give your Self a minute and see what comes.
-How are you? (yes, you can ask yourSelf this question!)
-What's it like to be me right now?
-What's making me smile today?
-What feels hard today?
-What do I need...really need? (think Maslow)
In this piece, I refer to a concept often noted within the IFS (therapeutic) framework created by Dr. Richard Schwartz. He has also observed eight C's of self-leadership. This concept originated earlier than Schwartz and I mention this only to give credit to those who created the concept. I have no claim to it. (except that it's a great framework!) Stay tuned as the others reveal themselves to you here next month!
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Written by:
Lisa DiMatteo, PCC
Self-Leadership Coach support@habitatforleadership.com