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Self-Leadership Series: Connectedness





8 C's of Self Leadership: Installment #4 - Connectedness

What does it mean for you to experience feeling 'connected?' Who or what do you want to be connected to? Is it a person, place, thing, or sensation? How do you know when you are connected?

IFS Institute defines connectedness as: Connectedness - n. 1. the state of feeling a part of a larger entity such as a partnership, team, community, or organization 2. to be able to relax your defenses with others as you know that you won't be judged or controlled 3. to have companionship and/or spirituality that helps one deal with reality in a way that transcends circumstances.

Can you relate to this definition? It suggests that to be connected is less of a physical manifestation and more of a feeling state. There is an 'otherness' that we are 'part of' in connection. And there is an outcome that being connected enables. To be truly connected can allow us to lower our weapons, to feel safe from control or judgment. To feel truly connected can help us experience life in a more transcendent manner. What this means to me is that I can invest in what really matters to me because my focus is aimed more on the 'whole.' It is possible not to become bogged down by feelings and situations that sometimes pop up around my separateness. These can lead to isolation. And while some periods of solitude are necessary or even helpful in life, even nature shows us every day that we are beings that need one another. We need to be connected to prosper. Sometimes even to survive.

In the last installment, I shared how these 8's are non-linear. However, it's easy to see that while we can begin by investing our time and energy in any one of the C's, the order in which I have decided to write this series provides a potential (and somewhat logical) path.

Curiosity ---> Compassion ---> Calmness ---> Connectedness...

We start with curiosity. This allows us space to practice some compassion. As a result, we feel calm. From this place maybe we are able to connect more with others, or even our Selves.

Here are some inquiries and journal writing prompts for you to explore around connectedness:

  • In this season, what you are you connecting with? (season can mean anything you want - Autumn, 'moment of your life', etc)

  • What might be possible in your life because you choose to connect here?

  • What might you need to disconnect from?

  • What supports your ability to feel connected?

Every month we offer an opportunity to dive a bit more deeply into this topic. Or perhaps you would like to hear how others are living this material. Feel free to join our guided conversation workshops. You can find out more at


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